


Grief

by dawnlight



Series: Run with Me [2]
Category: The Maze Runner (2014)
Genre: M/M, a bit angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 11:43:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3248438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dawnlight/pseuds/dawnlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What Minho thought during a night in Paradise</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grief

  


*

  


Minho sat by a rock, sipping his warm soup from a clay bowl while spreading his gaze through the crowds around bonfire. It’s just like a celebratory night in the Glade, but with some portions of beauty (means true girls, not a certain _pretty_ boy with his cute girlfriend), yet not once he felt relieved or even excited to be here. His mind wandered somewhere else while his eyes burned into the figure of Thomas and Brenda, although the nightmare still haunted their face, he could see from the way they contently gazing at each other and contently shared small smiles, they started healing.

  


It’s unfair.

  


It’s not like Minho couldn’t find anyone to hug and to spill his exhaustion over. He’s still had friends from the remains of Gladers, and there are plenty of potential new friends here. He’s not survived alone, so there’s no reason to alienate himself and brood all night. However, he can’t get over the shadow of Newt, who decided to take another turn on their journey and living with the Cranks. Some part of him wanted to get up from this paradise to find Newt so he could tell the boy it’s okay to be together. He didn’t mind if he had to witness the change into Gone, or if he had to feed Newt insanity with his own limbs, as long as he could see Newt, alive and near.

If only the cure was as easy as giving the Immunes blood to the Cranks, Minho would gladly sacrificed all of his to Newt. But life’s never easy, never gave mercy. So here he was, surrounded by anxiously happy people who suffered from traumatic experience of being captured, captivated in the maze, and then running from their death sentence, and all he could feel was loneliness.

  


“Hhhh…” Minho placed his bowl near the rock, then he retreated to the border of forest without giving any word to his friends who tried to engage him into conversations, including Gally, cause the time he saw the shank, all he wanted to say was, ‘why the fuck you’re an Immune and Newt isn’t?!’

  


“Hey, Minho.” When he’s about to climb a tree for sleep, Thomas tapped his shoulder gently.

“Do I know you?” Minho turned and raised his eyebrows in judgment, tried so hard to be hostile so Thomas got the clue and left him alone.

“Come on.” Thomas smiled a little, “Can we talk?”

“What’s for?” Minho scrunched his face, “We reached Paradise, we saved hundreds lives, this is the end of our story. Can you at least stop bothering me, shuck-face?”

“But we’re friends, and this isn’t an end. This is just a beginning of a new chapter and…” but Minho cut the words by grasping the brown crown hair of Thomas carefully, like he always did when he threatened Newt. It’s intimidating but not in hurting way. Except that his heart was hurt in every mention of Newt.

“This is a beginning for you and Brenda, shank, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to care whatever klunk happen in my future.” Because there’s no Newt to share his joy so he simply didn’t want to feel happy anymore. People might found it funny at how devoted he was to Newt. He loved Newt, just not in the romantic way so he couldn’t explain the superb fondness he felt towards the glader. He didn’t want to marry Newt or have sex with Newt. He just needed Newt to be immune and as much alive as him, and just like that, he believed he could move on with his life. “So give me a favor, Thomas. Please be a stranger to me from now on.” He said it with finality in his tone along with returning to climb the tree again.

When he settled at a sturdy branch and tied himself so he won’t just fall in his sleep, Minho startled cause Thomas was still standing under the tree, watching him with pained expression.

  


“I lost Newt, you know.” Thomas muttered softly, “why should I lose you too?”

  


His jaw hardened and his fist clenched upon the stabbing words. It’s suffocating, his mind easily became dizzy for the thick air around him and he couldn’t just breathe without taking in the anger and grief into his system, blaming him for being not-good-enough person. There’s an urge to jump down and strangle Thomas, pinned the younger to the ground and spat curses about how he hated to be here, for this place reminded him so much of the Glade and how Newt will fit to be here, either helping around in the farm or taking some greenie under training, or just sitting next to the pond, dozing off.

But Minho also believed his feelings didn’t important. He assumed, Thomas only wanted him to get over the past and function again as what he was created for. A leader. A fail leader, if he must add, since there are so many people ended dead or missing under his leadership. So he leaned his back to the tree and sighed, “I’m sorry.” He said it while looking up to see the stars and the moon, “Forget whatever I say, I’m just tired.” He sighed again and closed his eyes, “you should rest too.”

  


There’s no answer.

Minho thought Thomas finally left so he opened his eyes again and glancing down, just to gape in shock cause Thomas was still there, still looked up to him.

“Why are you still here, shuck?!” Minho took a small branch and threw it at the younger brunette, “go away, you ugly creep!”

“But we need to talk.” Thomas winced while dodging the branch, “I should tell you something very important, Minho.”

“What? That you love me no matter how many girls kissed you and boys worshiped you and would die for you?” Minho snorted at his own joke, almost laugh himself at how hilarious it was. But Thomas didn’t laugh and so Minho frowned at the awkwardness in between them. “Wait…” he forced himself to stop talking but he couldn’t, words keep flowing out from his lips, “wait a minute, you shouldn’t…”

Thomas tried to smile but all the boy could do was cringed, “I know. I shouldn’t love you.” and heavy burden of guilt weighting Minho chest as he dazedly listened to Thomas words, “I shouldn’t love your sarcasm, your bad behavior, your anger issue… I shouldn’t also love you for trying so hard to keep us together, for didn’t cry when it’s hurt, for staying in my side until the very end… I shouldn’t love you cause you made it alive and you survived.” Thomas paused, but when Minho expected more explanation, the boy only gave him a stern look and a whisper of,

  


“But I do love you, Minho and I want you.”

  


It’s a bit complicated to define about this love Thomas talked about. It’s not as simple as ‘love is friendship’ and for a moment, Minho felt strange. He couldn’t decide if Thomas only wanted to be as close as brother to him or more. He could ask the boundary, but he didn’t dare to speak it aloud cause he cared for Thomas and he hated it how much remorse he felt from hurting Thomas. So he untied his rope and climbed down to walk into the woods with the boy until they found a flat ground to sit and talk with more comfort.

  


“So…” Minho cleared his throat and began talking, but he was cut by a kiss from Thomas.

  


Okay.

  


So it’s not a platonic love.

  


“Why me?” He asked when the kiss broke.

  


Thomas smiled a bit happier, it seems the boy still unsure what could be the effect from the simple peck and half thought Minho will beat _him_ into pulp. Oh, Minho will, if the kiss didn’t taste the –shucking- nice. Even when Thomas didn’t answer him and just leaned to his shoulder, he didn’t mind dropping the topic and let the other body melted the icing grief in him. Speculations floated in his mind, whether Thomas only felt pity because he couldn’t find happiness in his friends company, or if Thomas wanted to keep him loyal to the boy or if Thomas threw a prank to embarrass him in front of the survivors later.

Minho furrowed his eyebrows at his nonsense thoughts.

  


“Wait, what about Brenda? I thought you date her.”

Thomas gave him a look, before the boy threw a gaze towards the darkness around them, “I like her.” admit Thomas, “but dating her made me feel out of options, like -we went through everything together so we should date in the end- I can’t trust her, not like how I’m trusting you or Newt.” Surprisingly Thomas sounded thoughtful, cold even, and Minho almost laughed in mock cause his position with Brenda was similar, what makes him getting a better place in Thomas heart is just because he’s not a chick and he knew Thomas was done trusting girls since Theresa betrayal.

“Fine then.” He didn’t know if he could love Thomas as much as the boy wanted him to. But he snaked his hand around the brunette shoulder and kissed the forehead in a tender care, “let’s date.”

  


*

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading ^^


End file.
